People go through life too often taking shit from others without taking any action. Why, because you’re either too fucking lazy, you don’t want to suffer any consequences or you just don’t have any fucking imagination.
Well, Here it is, your very own, “Take this you fucking asshole” Pay Back Machine. We’re not talking black ninja assassins here to carry out revenge attacks for the death of your wife and child, but we are talking an explosion of glittery shit that will humiliate and just generally, piss the person you don’t particular like, the fuck off!
It’s simple, you pay us a low $8.99*, give us their name and address (anywhere in the world), and we’ll take the sacrifice upon ourselves to stuff an envelope to the fucking rafters full of that glittery shit, write a fancy note telling that person why exactly they are now experiencing this horrible and cruel punishment. We’re seriously professional about this, maximum glitter explosion will occur as we strategically place all the glittery gunk inside the actual note! (we’re fucking clever like that!) The Letter will even be hand written on the front so they’ll even think it’s a thoughtful caring letter addressed from their mamma or something. Fuck, we’ve thought of everything.
"Because getting revenge can be some complex shit!"
No, it’s not a complete piss take. 50% real (meaning we will actually do the job and send the person you hate this gift of glittery shit, and 50% A piss take, because, come on, we are taking the piss here slightly……"
Decide who's day you want to destroy by filling their details in the form and then click the Buy Button.
Yes, to everywhere an idiot needs a good glitter bomb explosion to the face. From that British scone munching twat with the annoying accent, to that American 10th grader who's been giving you shit all year. A simple click is all it takes to reap sweet retribution
We ship this shit from an undisclosed location within Australia. Australia is slack as fuck, hence our ability to carry out Glitter Attacks under the radar of the government. Because of this, have some patience. Generally, Australian cities will get bombed within 3-5 business days. And all those other international places like the UK and that big Yank Country where all those CGI movies come out of, 6-10 business days. This means, don't expect an over-night Glitter Sensation to arrive on your birthday mates doorstop if you only ordered it the day before. Plan your attacks! This aint bloody rocket science.
Not unless you tell them. You get our Oath of Secrecy included with every purchase!
$8.99 AUD +$1 postage to anywhere in the world. Cheap as fucking chips. On-Demand Revenge Delivered for less than a McDonalds Meal! Fucking bargain. Order a 2nd or a 3rd, and we reduce the price even further. Booo yaaaa!
Come on, you wouldnt of read so far unless you were atleast a bit fucking curious as to what it would be like to have some sweet revenge on those fuck tards in your life. When they open that envelope and all that glittery shit goes all over them, smile inside and ask them, "Who could of possibly sent you that?!"
Let’s be perfectly clear, We fucking hate glitter. But if you wanna get your jolly's by sending your old work exployee wankers some glitter shit to piss them the hell off, who are we to deny you this pleasure!