Home of the Spring-Loaded Glitter Bomb & Mail A Bag of Dicks.
Lets be honest, Glitter is fucking disgusting shit!
People go through life too often taking shit from others without taking any action. Why, because you’re either too fucking lazy, you’re scared of the consequences if you retaliate, or worse, you just don’t have any fucking imagination!
Well, here it is, we’ve done the hard work for you. You very own little ‘revenge machine’. We’re not talking black ninja assassins, but we are talking an explosion of glittery shit that will humiliate and just generally piss the reciever of such a gift, the hell off.
To this day, there hasn’t been a better feeling than watching my boss open my Glitter Bomb gift right before he was due to give a presentation in front of management..Priceless!
I bought this to piss my missus off, she opened it and loved it. What the fuck? I thought you said this shit was for causing pain and dispair!
Sent to my school teacher Glenda Robbins after she gave me detention last week. Our class now call her Glittery Glenda! Can’t see that nickname going away anytime soon! Thanks!
This Glitter shit is more painful than having a golf ball stuck up your arse. How the fuck do I wash this stuff off?!
I left a glitter cannon unopened on my kitchen bench. My curious mother couldnt help herself and unknowingly opened it! Absolute cracker!
“Because getting revenge can be some complex shit”
Yes, to everywhere an idiot needs a good glitter bomb explosion to the face. From that British scone munching twat with the annoying accent, to that American 10th grader who’s been giving you shit all year. A simple click is all it takes to reap sweet retribution.
We ship this shit from an undisclosed location within Australia. Australia is slack as fuck, hence our ability to carry out Glitter Attacks under the radar of the government. Because of this, have some patience. Generally, Australian cities will get bombed within 4-6 business days (Standard Post) or 2-3 (Express). And all those other international places like the UK and that big Yank Country where all those CGI movies come out of, 6-10 business days. This means, don’t expect an over-night Glitter Sensation to arrive on your birthday mates doorstop if you only ordered it the day before. Plan your attacks! This aint bloody rocket science.
Our Original Glitter Card starts at 9.99 AUD + postage. On-Demand Revenge Delivered for less than a McDonalds Meal! Fucking bargain. Wanna really ruin someones day, we suggest splashing out on the Spring Loaded Glitter Bomb starting at 19.99 AUD. Booo yaaaa!
Come on, you wouldn’t have read so far unless you were at least a bit fucking curious as to what it would be like to have some sweet revenge on those fuck tards in your life. When they pop open that tube and are propelled with all that glittery shit, burst out the laughter and casually ask, “Who could have possibly sent you that?!”
Let’s be perfectly clear, We fucking hate glitter. But if you wanna get your jolly’s by sending your old work employees some glitter shit to piss them the hell off, who are we to deny you this pleasure!
Right, so you’ve decided to grow a pair and issue the command that will inevitably see your enemy on the receiving end of some glittery (or dick themed) gift!