Stop letting people off when they give you shit! Get some sweet glitter payback! Let us send them some stupid fucking glitter that is guaranteed to go everywhere!
Lets be honest, Glitter is fucking disgusting shit!
People go through life too often taking shit from others without taking any action. Why, because you’re either too fucking lazy, you’re scared of the consequences if you retaliate, or worse, you just don’t have any fucking imagination!
Well, here it is, we’ve done the hard work for you. You very own little ‘revenge machine’. We’re not talking black ninja assassins, but we are talking an explosion of glittery shit that will humiliate and just generally piss the reciever of such a gift, the hell off.
FAQS
“Because getting revenge can be some complex shit”
Is this a complete piss take?
No, it’s not a complete piss take, 50% real (meaning we actually carry out the job and send your enemies the glittery shit) and 50% a piss take, because, come on, we are taking the piss here slightly…
How does it work?
Add some of our special glitter products to your cart, enter the addresses of your fortunate recipients, pay us some cash and wait for the glitter fury to be unleashed!
Do you ship internationally?
Yes, to everywhere an idiot needs a good glitter bomb explosion to the face. From that British scone munching twat with the annoying accent, to that American 10th grader who’s been giving you shit all year. A simple click is all it takes to reap sweet retribution.
How long will it take?
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We ship this shit from an undisclosed location within Australia. Australia is slack as fuck, hence our ability to carry out Glitter Attacks under the radar of the government. Because of this, have some patience. Generally, Australian cities will get bombed within 4-6 business days (Standard Post) or 2-3 (Express). And all those other international places like the UK and that big Yank Country where all those CGI movies come out of, 6-10 business days. This means, don’t expect an over-night Glitter Sensation to arrive on your birthday mates doorstop if you only ordered it the day before. Plan your attacks! This aint bloody rocket science.
Will the recipient know who sent them it?
Not unless you tell them. You get our Oath of Secrecy included with every purchase!
How much does it cost?
Our Original Glitter Card starts at 9.99 AUD + postage. On-Demand Revenge Delivered for less than a McDonalds Meal! Fucking bargain. Wanna really ruin someones day, we suggest splashing out on the Spring Loaded Glitter Bomb starting at 19.99 AUD. Booo yaaaa!
Why should i pay you to glitter bomb someone?
Come on, you wouldn’t have read so far unless you were at least a bit fucking curious as to what it would be like to have some sweet revenge on those fuck tards in your life. When they pop open that tube and are propelled with all that glittery shit, burst out the laughter and casually ask, “Who could have possibly sent you that?!”
Why are you so obsessed with glitter?
Let’s be perfectly clear, We fucking hate glitter. But if you wanna get your jolly’s by sending your old work employees some glitter shit to piss them the hell off, who are we to deny you this pleasure!
